Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Our Village

Despite the many things I will be for my girl, one thing I will never be is a black woman. You know, some things just don't change in life. My best friend happens to be a black girl (shout out to Latasha) and we love having her in our life. A few months ago, I began thinking of ways I could add more African American people into our  life. I don't want her to grow up in a white bubble. She has African American friends at school and a few at church, but really, it is all white world up in here. 

About the time I was thinking about it, little sister became obsessed with playing beauty shop. She's stuck with it for some time now and early January I decided that a trip to the real deal black girl beauty shop was what we needed. I've been doing my girl's hair, learning along the way, since she was born. I'm not stopping on account of the beauty shop, but every two weeks from here to yonder you'll be finding my girl perched on the chair with Ms. Rebecca chatting away with her.

Friends, I almost cried the whole way through. Something about getting out of my comfort zone and seeing this beautiful picture unfold did my heart in. It's like we've earned a Grandma. She loved my girl. Loved her. When we left they were best friends. 

Also, when we left my three year old looked like a seven year old. I don't want to talk about it. Oh my word, she is a beauty. Her Daddy nearly cried too.

I prayed and prayed before the appointment. I wanted her to be treated well. I wanted to be treated well. I wanted my girl not to throw down in the middle of the beauty shop and the women say something like "Mmmmm hmmmmm, white woman can't control her kid." I just make this poppycock up in my head. Nobody said that.

Kendra did beautifully. It was a beautiful experience. Ms. Rebecca has joined our village and I couldn't be more thrilled. She was so kind and loving, everything I had prayed for. I can hardly wait to get back there again. 

We're learning every day on this journey with our girl. I'm not always going to get it all right. There will be times when she does throw down at the beauty shop. I'll never be a black woman. But this story is mine because of God. And that, my friends, is a beautiful thing.

God is good, all the time!


  1. I love this, Joy. The photo of her in the chair with Ms.Rebecca fixing her hair is priceless.

  2. Beautiful....tears pouring down my face. Love how God provides just what we need and our children much more than we can imagine...and He gets rid of the poppycock in our heads, too.

  3. Love this! Thanks for sharing.

  4. I have done the same thing for my adopted daughter who is black, and I am white. It has worked out very well, although we have gone through multiple shops (mostly due to distance or cost) until I found a good one close to home. Ms. Dana has been fabulous working with my now-teen daughter and helping her to appreciate her hair. My only dislike is that many of the black salons we visit do not have kid-appropriate TV on; however, the good stylists will distract the child. Good luck!

  5. Oh, Joy, I think this is one of my most favorite posts! I love, love, love that you have found Ms. Rebecca!

  6. Ha! I take Little Man to the barbershop downtown! Sometimes I am the only white and the only woman :) but Mr. William loves loves LOVES my son, so I love love LOVE the barbershop. Plus, I figure when he is old enough to go alone, he'll be ready for that cultural experience. But, oh, the prayer that preceded that first trip. I'm so glad you found your hair place :)

  7. SERIOUSLY. i have an african american foster daughter and for two months i've been hunting in the great white north woods of wisconsin to find someone who can do her hair. there is only so much a white woman and youtube videos can do. after google searches and cold calls and people no showing--i think we finnally found someone that can braid!!! it is such a relief and oh I feel this post right here!! PRAISE HIS NAME!!!


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